Ok, it’s time I ‘fessed up. I’m in a pickle.
I’ve walked so far down this road to being a writer that it feels like too far to turn around and do something else. I know that I haven’t come far at all in terms of fame or fortune, or publishing, but I have come a certain distance in terms of what I’ve given up to get here. Well, I’ve come to Townsville for starters. It feels a bit like the wilderness, to me. It feels a bit like it’s the end of the road. It doesn’t seem like I can just sidestep into some other kind of proper job, like I always thought I could when I lived in Melbourne. I used to think that I could always change my mind and become something else, but now I think that writing might be it, as far as opportunities go in Townsville. But try as I might I can’t get going again, with the writing. I’m stuck.
And I’d like to ask you for your help.
I’m trying to remember what it was that made me want to write in the first place. Not what it was that made me want to string some sentences together, but what it was that made me want to turn it into some kind of career. I’m trying to remember what it was that made me say “Writer!” instead of “Teacher!” or “Librarian!” or “Mathematician!” (OK, we all know why I didn’t turn out to be a mathematician).
Please, can tell me, as anonymously as you like, what was it that you always wanted to do? Or what you'd do if you had three or four other lives to live, as well as this one?
What was it that made you choose what it is that you're doing today?
Thanks for your help. I appreciate it.
Naomi.
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5 comments:
I always thought I'd make a good doctor, also I wondered if I might secretly enjoy being a shopkeeper.
I believe the truth is that for many of us we want our work to be this huge satisfying pile of wonderful- and sometimes it is just a huge pile. Writing is brutal. There is very little feedback or recognition. On the other hand you have the opportunity to create entire worlds that never existed before- which beats the heck out of accounting if you ask me. (no offense to accounting folks out there)
I chose to be an engineer because I was good at all the things that seem to be important to be an engineer, maths, science and logic :-) I also enjoyed all these things as well :-)
Why did I then also choose to do triathlon? I always love being fit and competing :-) So I figured that I needed a challenge and would give it a go. I had always also promised myself that I would do the NZ Ironman one day and I figured that I should do that now :-)
I know that we chose to do what we want to do because we enjoy something and also because we are good at it. Always believe in yourself, I do :-)
I never chose my life, my life chose me. I just fell into flipping back and forth between librarian and web manager, both of which suit me with my obsession for keeping things in their logical place. I always had dreams of being a writer, and still do, but unlike you have never done very much about it.
I think you write very well on your blog by the way - your Johnny Cash post from a couple of months was the perfect concise mix of diary, review and touching reminiscence. It would take me hours of concentration (which will never happen) to come up with what seems to be natural to you.
Thank you for the comments, that really helps.
Eileen, it is comforting to know that you're not attracted to writing because of the logic of it!
Mr E, I hope that you're enjoying blogging. It's such a good way to do a little writing on a lot of days. Can you imagine any other way that you could get your friends to read your writing, on an almost daily basis?
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